I found this article while doing some research for my book. I found it informative and thought I would share it with you here in my blog. These are not my words, they are the thoughts and writings of the author as I found it. The article has not been changed or edited
How guys think?
by Robert Grice
Some might ask if men ever think. Since I am a guy I cannot agree that men never think. But, men do have a tendency to think differently than women. One must proceed cautiously because we should not overlook that men and women can vary in the degree of stereotypical characteristics they possess.
However, the anecdotal assumption is that men tend to think in distinctive ways.
First, a man’s every thought is not about sex. Every second or third thought might be about sex but not every thought.
Second, the way men think often fits the social gender roles they are shaped to fill by parents, peers, etc. The traditional male mindset would typically share some mixture of the following characteristics:
Logic-oriented means that the traditional male loathes emotionalism. Joy and laughter are fine but tears are not. Crying is a sign of weaknesses. So, in emotionally moving situations the traditional male seeks to hide his eyes or fanes some form of discomfort to serve as a “cause” for the tears.
The traditional male is goal-driven. The competitive spirit can be healthy but it can also prove destructive when goals trump all other relationships. Many times the victim of excessive goal orientation will be the relationships in the man’s life.
The traditional male would rather have facts and figures than complexities that cannot be resolved. Feelings tend to get in the way and are downplayed. Making amends for relational damage that resulted from problem-solving can be difficult for men because resolving the problem should be the goal.
Men love to find solutions to problems. First, they seldom ask for help unless they are at their wits end trying to resolve their own problems. Second, they know if another man shares a problem with them it is because he is desperate in trying to find a solution for his problem. Otherwise, he would say nothing. Third, men do not listen when their wives share problems because they assume the information is given in search of a solution. Big mistake! Men have trouble computing why anyone would share their problems simply for the sake of sharing their problems.
Men love the practical life. The term pragmatic in its traditional usage is borrowed from William James and his suggestion that “if something works then it must be true.” Men may not go this far because it denies the possibility that moral truth may appear impractical in the short term but has long term effects. Rather, the more that something seems to work in life and proves satisfying the more they want to do it.
Probably the most important thing that men think about is a desire to be desired. The desired-sensitive aspect of a man’s life is the desire to be wanted by members of the opposite sex. This is why men are susceptible to seduction. I often comment when speaking to couples that the power of seduction is that it expresses to a man, “I want you.” And then, I tell the wives to start seducing their husbands.
The mistake women sometimes make is to believe they cannot be seductive unless they look like a model. Seduction is not so much about appearances as it is about an attitude.
Obviously, seduction involves sexuality. Sexuality is an important part of a man’s life. When he knows he is wanted the experience conveys respect and affirmation. These are two important needs for men.
Do men think? Yes they do. L
-Robert Grice is an author, educator and coach