Twin Flames - Dr. Diva Verdun

Soul Mates vs. Twin Flames and the Stages of Twin Flame Relationships

What’s the difference between soul mates and twin flames?

Soul Mates: Soul mates are divine extensions from the same oversoul. The oversoul or I Am presence oversees and stays connected to all of it’s soul extensions bringing lessons and soul experiences to assist the soul in becoming an ascended master. The oversoul sets up soul contracts for learning within it’s “group” of soul extensions. Every person in your life….your parents, close friends, romantic relationships, children, bosses etc. are all your soul mates. Soul mates do not necessarily mean that they are “loving” relationships. Our soul mates can be some of our most difficult relationships as they teach us our greatest lessons. (Technically, since we are ONE….everyone on the planet is our soul mate….however, there are definitely closer, more resonate soul mates that are from the same oversoul.)

If you are wanting to draw a romantic “soul mate” to you, make sure you ask for the most compatible soul mate for your highest and best good, and one that has a monogamy gene….unless you are ok with having an unfaithful partner and want to experience multiple partners at one time. In essence, make sure you are very clear with what you want in order to attract a soul mate that will be balanced for you.

The more you love yourself….the more loving soul mate relationship you will attract. Remember, it is your state of consciousness that creates your reality ~ so whatever programs and beliefs you have will attract relationships to you to help you heal any distortions within your being that are not based on truth.

Twin Flames - Dr. Diva Verdun

Twin Flames: Are soul mates that are exactly like you. Your twin flame is your closest soul extension and can be a very powerful, deeply loving and fulfilling relationship. However, if you don’t love your self then you will not have a compatible relationship with your twin flame. They will mirror every negative program, emotion, feeling and belief you have…..these relationships can be very trying if you have not cleared your negative programs and stepped into self-love, respect and compassion for the self.

“Usually,” we do not attract our twin flame until we have found balance within our masculine and feminine energies and have reached a state of unification and enlightenment …..but that is not always the case. Because you are a Creator Being, through the focus of your attention….you can attract your twin flame. Oftentimes, our twin flame is not incarnated into 3D….more times than not, our twin flame is an aspect of our higher self who resides in the spiritual realms who guide us and helps us move into oneness and unity consciousness. If our twin flame has incarnated into 3D, then usually we have work to do together to assist with the transformation and healing of the planet. This is RARE, but it is definitely an option….remember….CREATION has no limitations!

Our soul mates and twin flames are our soul family. We know each other from other places and other times ~ our hearts will be attracted. We have many soul mates yet only one twin flame to choose from, and it is our subconscious and heart-felt intentions that will draw to us the soul mate/twin flame based on our negative and positive qualities. Usually, the twin flame is not magnetized forward until the soul is purified enough to give and receive the unconditional love and universal mirrors that will be reflected to them. The twin flame is an aspect of our higher self… will lovingly show us what we need to work on so we can merge into oneness and unification.

Reprint from Sabrina Reber

The Stages of a Twin Flame Relationship

  1. Recognition and Temporary Spiritual Awakening
  2. Testing
  3. Crisis
  4. Runner Dynamic
  5. Surrender
  6. Radiance
  7. Harmonizing

**The Key to getting to the final Harmonizing stage with the least amount of suffering is to bypass one’s own Testing, Crisis and Runner stages.  This can be accomplished by staying surrendered to G…od throughout. **

Stage 1:  Recognition and Temporary Spiritual Awakening

Characteristics of Stage 1:

Both Twins recognize one another at the soul level and feel as if they have met before.  Synchronous events surround the union.  The heart chakras open and both souls quickly merge into a third unified energy.  Both Twins experience an acceleration of spiritual understanding.

The purpose of the Recognition and Temporary Spiritual Awakening Stage:

To activate the memory of each soul’s life mission and to help awaken each Twin to higher levels of consciousness.

Stage 2:  Testing

Characteristics of Stage 2:

The initial temporary spiritual awakening (illumination) fades. The ego (“little self”) begins to re-emerge.  One or both Twins may attempt to fit the relationship into the “old model” of Love, couple-hood and relationship as it relates to their ego desires and learned belief system.  Inner conflict arises.  Twins ruminate on what they were taught to believe their beloved “should be” and how relationships are supposed to serve them.

Both Twins feel simultaneously inspired and toppled by the power of the union.
Doubts creep in making one or both Twins begin to view their beloved critically or suspiciously.

The purpose of the Testing stage:

To cause outdated mental concepts about relationships to rise to the surface to be cleared.

Stage 3:  Crisis

Characteristics of Stage 3:

The crisis of the Twin is realizing they must reject their egoic beliefs about Love relationships or reject their beloved.  Having to shed “little self” or identity-based beliefs and desires to embrace a higher expression of Love can lead to stubbornness and anxiety.  Fear can take hold, triggering many dysfunctional emotional patterns.  In staying present with the patterns, they can be witnessed and released.

Despite fears, both Twins naturally come together in cycles for bonding, confession, forgiveness and Lovemaking.  These rituals cement higher levels of consciousness into the energy fields of both Twins.

The purpose of the Crisis stage:

To provide opportunities for the healing and maturing of the mental and emotional bodies.

Stage 4:  The Runner Dynamic

Characteristics of Stage 4:

The human ego naturally fears annihilation in the face of the Unified Consciousness encoded inside the Twin Flame Union.  The pain body rises up and old ego survival mechanisms or “bottom of the barrel” emotional and mental patterns like defiance, resistance, manipulation, anger, punishing and judgment arise.

One or both Twins become emotionally and mentally flooded with deep pain from what feels like soul-level rejection and abandonment.  The unbearable soul-level pain leads one or both Twins to withdraw physically and block communication in fear and futility.  One or both Twins may unsuccessfully try to re-create the original unified harmony.

The purpose of the Runner Dynamic:

To propel both individuals towards God for healing and maturation of the spiritual body.

NOTE:  The temptation to engage in ego battle or withdrawal is very seductive and difficult for many to resist, which is why many Twins never reach Surrender, Radiance or Harmony.

Remember, there is no room for judgment in Twin Soul pairings. Each soul learns from much walking its own path and choosing through its own will.  Your non-attached loving thoughts will be felt by your beloved in the subconscious, keeping them strong.

Stage 5:  Surrender

Characteristics of Stage 5: 

The direction and outcome of the relationship is surrendered to God in full faith and trust that the Union is under Divine Protection.  It is accepted that what is best and destined for the final physical harmonizing will transpire in its own time. (Both Twins must reach Illumination in order to harmonize in the physical)

The “Runner” Twin is allowed the space and freedom to choose to evolve at their own pace in their own way.  At this stage, the frequency of compassion returns and maintains itself.  The Surrendered Twin holds a heart space for their beloved while fully exploring life on the way to becoming an Illuminated human.  This may be a time of channeling Unconditional Love into art, music, writing, teaching, active service or some other creative outlet.

Purpose of the Surrender stage:

To help each soul release the ego, develop regular communication with God and demonstrate their full trust in God to do what is best and when.

Stage 6:  Self Realization, Illumination, Radiance

Characteristics of Stage 6: 

Twin Flames - Dr. Diva VerdunThe ego or “little self” dies and the God-force energy takes over the body.  This leads to a complete spiritual awakening, arriving at one’s fully awakened divinity. This is the stage of radiating Divine Love rather than seeking romantic Love.

At this stage, the surrendered Twin’s emotional, mental and spiritual bodies arrive at full maturity.  New creativity and healing abilities arise, which are put in service to assist others.

Purpose of the Radiance stage:

To establish an outward flow of Divine Love through one’s body and works, which vibrates at a level that uplifts humanity.

Stage 7:  Harmonizing

Characteristics of Stage 7:

By this stage both Twins have awakened.  They come together in the physical to assimilate their newly evolved energies, flowing into the new dynamic of their Unified Potential.  Both Twins integrate fully into the third energy of Unconditional Love in a way that influences others towards their own heart opening.

Purpose of the Harmonizing stage:

To fulfill the intended mission of the Twin Flame Union.
**Twin Flame relationships come into your life to help mold you to embody the vibration of Unconditional Love.**

Reprint from Dakini’s Bliss Yoga

Summation by Tiffany Williford

Twins and soul mates are two entirely different things.

If you do believe in reincarnation and past lives, you could literally have thousands of soul mates out there, people you have bumped into constantly over your many, many lives along with the karma which comes with it.

But the Twin is different. It is literally your missing half from the beginning of Time. You can have 1000s of soul mates but there is only one Twin. The reunification of Twins is also a very, very holy event.

This awful event caused Twins to separate and the search of true love is really a search for the missing Twin. Their reunification is holy because it is literally the coming together of a PRIMARY energy from Source itself. Meaning, the energy Twins generate is of such a high frequency and so pure, that the work that Twins do together is of immense importance and usually helps inspire humankind to evolve to a higher state of consciousness, which is why Twins finding each other during this time of transition would go a long way.

All Twin relationships are a reflection of the most ancient and primary of Twins, Osiris and Isis, the first king and queen of Egypt. Twinship is not about romance, candle light dinners, great sex, buying a condo together and shared investments and retirement savings plans (Though it probably will include that later). It is about two souls coming together to be of benefit and service to humanity, usually by inspiring and leading others with the creative work they do together, whether that be the books they write together, the ideas they come up with together, the healing work they do together, the artistic and creative output they do together etc. The works they produce together usually live on, long after they have gone.

51 thoughts on “Soul Mates vs. Twin Flames and the Stages of Twin Flame Relationships

    1. Hello precious one. True surrender means total release. It means letting go the need for a specific outcome as specified in one’s mind. In surrender we are trusting the Universe fully for our highest and best good and the best and highest good of all those we love and are associated with. To assist anyone in their growth we let go so they can grow and in the process we grow too. Let go of the desperation of fear that the twin will not return or the need to manage their growth. Breathe and release… Let go! Love and Enlightenment.


  1. I cane across the twin flame concept when trying to make sense of a very difficult ongoing relationship. He and i were together when we were young – 42 years ago. It was head over heels everything and we had a child. but then split up. I was totally traumatised by it, but got on with life as best I could. All contact was lost.I settled with another man, but my first and only real love was always there.There were dreams when we got together during the years. The other man and i split eventually, 2 more children down the line. I eventually set about finding the first – for our daughters’ sake -not mine. It was so easy to find him There he was and eager to resume our relationship despite living with a woman who is a full on sociopath. It was so easy to be with him. I fell in love with him again, but his other (step)family means that he chooses to stay there. All the old trauma has materialised and I have never cried so much since we split. I suppose that this is the purpose of our meeting again. To release all that pain. He knows my feelings and I know his .I can’t go back to not having him in some way in my life. I can feel his presence all the time and it is the same for him. He complains about this and even trying to have another life with someone else just isn’t possible any more. How do i do that when he is in my head and heart all the time. ALL THE TIME .Even work flows in when he is running towards me. Even if everything else can be explained, this one is different. I can tell when he is about to reappear in my life because of this.

    1. Hi Lynda,

      Relationships are tools that teach us on great levels. They are there to provide us with healing, insight, and growth. For many they seek the relationship for love, but the truth is that love starts with self first. In essence as women, we can get caught up the fantasy of a relationship that went wrong for whatever reason. We may even live our whole lives in the fanstasy of the renewal of the relationship to end up disappointed when we manifest it back into our experience. We have grown, the other person has grown and things will never resume from where they use to be.

      You stated that he may have surfaced so you can release the pain. Have you released the pain? Or are you still in the fantasy stage of wishing things were the way they use to be? Truth is that regenerating an old relationship takes so much more work than getting into the new and exciting prospects of one that is new. The old relationship is riddled with painful experiences and emotions that must be overcome as well as resentment. There are issues of children and new spouses and relatoinships in between that generate jealousy and envy. There are the questions of what were you doing when and why and on and on and on? If this person is your true twin flame then all of the pain falls away in the midst of the presence. There is no judgment, there is no process to overcome, there is only the loving embrace of the two becoming one again. Twin flames are journeying through their own souls quest to define what is needed in this experience. When they come togehter they are ready to be together and nothing in between is of concern. Only you can know in the depth of your own heart and soul if a person is your twin. It is in letting go and surrendering totally to a new experience with new people that you will find out is the truth of the relationshp. A twin does not need to sabotage your life, they are here living theirs and you are here to live yours.

      Many people want to force dysfunctional relationships into the twin flame experience because they are not ready to face that their fantasy is just that, a fantasy. Allow yourself space to heal and allow yourself space to surrender to the fullness of the process. Relationships are only difficult because we place to many expectations on them rather than using them as tools to find the greater depth within self. Once we become soul satisfied within, then we are healthy and overcome the fractures to allow love to flow freely from us. In turn the love we share multiplies in the Universe and comes back to us. In this magnification of love we attract our true love back into our experience in Divine Order and Divine Timing. Let go and allow all that was to be as it was… now a memory. OPen yourself to the wisdom from the depth of your own soul and surrender to self in the knowing that all that is yours is always yours in Divine Right Magnification and Love.

      Love and Light!


  2. Hello again Dr Diva

    Thank you so much for your answer :)

    Maybe it was a false twin relationship. It was really weird, I felt a knot in my stomach with that person, but a bad one, and that person was destroying me. Although he said I was destroying him, but judging for the way he lives his life over the years, and for what other people told me, I don’t know… could it be both?

    Although i cared for him, and loved him, wanted to help him, but I really felted all along that was not the time for each other to meet, and we needed to be so much mature. and needed to be focusing on ourself’s first, needed to experience life, be more open, be more independent, etc
    We had telepathy and synchronicity, very, very, very strong.. The strongest I’ve ever had, and in very short time.

    We always know what we were thinking and what we were going to say in like, a split of a second!
    And this happened every second, every day! It was very intense.

    We were very much alike in some things, although different in others, but it was so deep, that it was scary, it was, so dark…it was a black hole.
    Although, we were very supportive off each other, and encouraging of each other’s talents.
    We also liked to share with each other our things, and do stuff together. Show to one another what we could do. And we really vibrate with that.
    I did, at least.

    Never got to know if he was sincere about the stuff, From the beginning there was something inside me telling me that he was a liar. He was a really dependent person.
    But in other way, so am I.

    We never saw each other again, and now we are apart. I dream about him all the time, and I still can feel him. It’s like I can feel it’s emotion’s. This has never happen to me with anyone.
    And this relationship last less than a year. I had so intense and durable relationships in my life, I just don’t know if this was traumatic, or if it was really important.

    The mystical, spiritual factor, was always present in our relationship from the beginning.
    And besides the opposite ways of thinking in some ways,it looked like we were growing with each other, but it was so beautiful, deep and so hard and so painful and co-dependent! We we’re going mad! At some point, I felt it wasn’t supposed to feel like that, and I was drained, physically and emotionally sick,
    So i had to give up. And I run from it. I escape.

    I am sorry for the big text, but I am really confused about this.

    Thank you very much.

    1. It is good to see you growing through this process. All relationships are tools we use to learn more about ourselves. No one can give you the specifics of what this experience is granting you in the form of growth. Only you will come to know that with time. For each person can have a similar experience and gain something totally different from it. The problem comes when we feel our hearts sink because what we thought in mind the relationship was it is not in reality.

      You note above shares many different references that share the insight you are coming into because of this experience. By surrendering to the growth experience you will come to know the fullness the process is guiding you through. You can have a soul experience with someone and that person but it does not warrant that the person is actually your twin flame. It is a soul experience that takes you higher into new awareness of self.

      In your note above you reference many red flags that you actually ran through. Red flags are our intuition speaking and when we override them them to move forward we suffer through the consequences, which brings on emotional pain. Per your note you state that the experience was dark and resembled a black hole. Relationships that teach are not dark and do not take us into a black hole when they are right for us. Your note is filled with insight that you have already come into, and if you take the time to re-read it and note the red flags you will see your subconscious has already started guiding you into the light from this experience.

      Experiencing the mystical, spiritual factor is available in all relationships and begins with you. This is because all relationships come from the spiritual element. We all have the capacity to move in this direction and some people have mastered the gift of using it negatively in relationships, while others are afraid of this gift when it surfaces because the connection it generates feel unnatural to them because they have not been socialized in loving and rewarding family experiences.

      Again, there is no way for a person to speak specifics to you regarding if a relationship is good or bad. All relationships are good and may turn out to be unhealthy for us. They are good in the beginning because they are what we want. They may not be the best in our highest and greatest good in the long run, but through the pain we step into because of our own will to override our intuition we get into trouble emotionally and even in that Spirit is still granting us a gift of healing and higher insight.

      Love and Light Precious ONE!!!


  3. hello Dr Diva

    Can you explain about the false twin please?
    And the differences you felt with the true and false twin? Can they be the same person?

    1. Generally the false twin is not your true twin, but then it could also be that it is not time for you to come together as well. The false twin has some similar traits to a real twin but they have not connected to their soul purpose. They are not running, they are not connected or aware at all. They mirror the true twins passions and feed on the true twins energies. They have not found their own soul connection or know their higher purpose in their own lives so they plug into the higher purpose of the true twin. True twin flame relationships are healing at a soul level. They are total connection and freedom in the intimacy (this is not sex) of the relationship. The false twin bears forth some traits but the challenges will bear the fruit of what type relationship it is, if it is simply codependent, false twin etc.. the key is to go within and find the answers within yourself. Only you have the answers. Do not be afraid to listen to your own soul. It is telling you what you need to know. Do not allow your heart or mind to overrule what your soul is telling you as truth. You can not force something that is not real, and that which is real will always bear forth in due time. Your inner guide already knows which is which. Trust IT!!!


  4. Omg. Please respond! I’ve met my Twin mate, I am not confused in the least, its him. A few examples. I swore off real relationships with men, I’m female. After my prior relationship, whom I believe was the “preparer”. I thought wed be married, we were that close, yet no cigar and I’m so glad because it feels beyond awesome to know and love my twin. We telecommunicate! Upon reading on this beautiful union, I realized we could read each other’s thoughts, we tried it and he’d guess right, I’d tell him to concentrate while I yelled to him in my mind. Once I clearly heard him tell me to get up its time to get up in the morning, then he called me minutes later, once I asked God , in my mind, ok?! If he was the one..I can’t even remember why but my soul knew full well that’s how mystical this experience is…and I kid you not outloud seconds later he literally said “I am” I popped up off his chest and said…how’d you know that???? He says he was just singing a song but I was convinced from then on. We don’t finish each other’s sentences, its more like ill think it, but hell verbalize what I was thinking, the exact same thing, this happens too many times to count. Its been less than two mths and weve entered stage 5 he’s running. He says ii can’t be with you, can you believe it??? After all the undeniable, and that’s only a strong few, because he says he wants to be bettter. When we met we were on two totally yet strangely similar paths. Were both from the same city but met on the greyhound because where he was living they put him out, he’s a sweet, calm mannered gentleman so I can only believe God did it because it was time. I was pursueing music in another state after mths of convincing myself to. We were on our way back to our home town. I could go on , I swear. Like the fact I could look in his eyes for years, I’ve had trouble with eye contact all my life, the thing is we both were unemployed, I found employment..him not yet and it makes him feel not like a man because he can’t provide for himself let alone me, how sweet right, but the fact he’s cutting me down to friend one is hurting. Your article truly helps me get this. I’m concerned with how long will it take for him to come back. I love Jim with all my heart everything about him. Please help

    1. Hello Shenae,

      Telepathy is something each of us can tap into as we are all of the ONE MIND. We can tap into each other’s thoughts and we can feel them if we are sensitive to our empathic capacities. Only you can truly KNOW that a person IS your Twin. No one can tell you any different because this is something only you and the twin can KNOW… I stress KNOWING from a deeper level past experiences like telepathy because this can be a generic experience for anyone that is attuned to these natural tendencies. Natural twins access this power from the womb, many times finishing each others thoughts verbally. One can start a sentence and the other finish it and they both shake their heads in agreement during a conversation. It is a strange situation to witness and rather entertaining to have a discussion with natural born twins that are so naturally plugged into each others thoughts. However, just because they are plugged in telepathically does not make them twin flames, even though they may share the same zygote. Thus, I state again to KNOW… accent KNOW… the twin flame is much deeper than physic intelligence. It is a CONNECTION FROM A SOUL LEVEL.

      I receive many women’s responses here, very few from men that claim they have met their twin, siting the difficulties they have had in the relationship and their belief that this person is their twin despite the red flags they are seeing. It is so easy for the ego to see what it wants to see than to recognize red flags for what they truly are. I caution all to really search deeply for clues that the ego may be tricking you into believing and waiting for a unhealthy relationship to manifest as something that it is not.

      Many people come in and out of our experience in relationships to teach us many lessons as we grow in the awareness of our higher selves. This is the nature of relationships. Many come to us as soul mates that trickling into our experience briefly as we both share a moment that attunes us to new thoughts and allows us to grow through old pent up pain to resolve our own insecurities and fears. It is interesting to note that all relationships can fit into this pattern of the twin flame relationship if we so wish to fool ourselves into this belief. Again, this is the ego determining to make itself right in a particular relationship that this is the right one, when in essence it may not be all that we originally thought it to be.

      If a person is our twin, that person may not be ready to unite in the twin flame relationship. However, the twin that is aware does not chase, does not pursue, does not force, but KNOWS that the other twin must discover all that it is here to discover in this experience. There is no forcing in thought that one is the twin. There is no question. In fact, for those that have true flame relationships they feel no need to confirm their relationships by anyone, because they simply do KNOW…. It is that small level of doubt that makes us question, no matter how minute. Interestingly, there are very very few that come to this post and share the burst of life and renewal that they are living in the actual twin flame relationship… this is why I always share that only YOU CAN KNOW… If you KNOW this person IS YOUR TWIN… No one can tell you otherwise… YOU SIMPLY KNOW…

      KNOWING is a very deep spiritual experience. It is like your heart beating. You KNOW that it is beating. You don’t question the beat. You don’t doubt or wait for it to beat, you don’t demand it beat or attempt to control the beat of the heart. You simply KNOW it is doing what it was designed to do. Likewise, you simply KNOW your twin when you meet them, and they KNOW you… One twin may be further in evolution than the other one, but this twin KNOWS they cannot force, manipulate, rush or insist on a relationship with the twin that is not ready. They KNOW the twin must be free to explore. They are open to allow soul exploration and continue on their own path because they too can learn and discover more during the process of growth of the other twin allowing them to bring more to the relationship at a later time, even if that is in another lifetime. If there is some heartbreak, this is ego wanting to force what may not yet be or be time to be.

      I do not wish to discourage you from KNOWING… If you KNOW that this person is your twin and you KNOW deeply that this is for you, then I celebrate your KNOWING… Allow this person to explore what is needed for them to satisfy their carnal and materialistic issues so that they can move through life discovery on their own. By releasing the twin to grow, you grow forward and open many more wonderful opportunities to love and have love be a part of your life right now in this moment with or without your twin as you continue to explore and live life fully. You do not stop and wait for the twin. You keep living forward in full force. You then come to realize that if you have met your flame all will come to be as it should be in due time. Meanwhile, enjoy life.



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