We invest so much of our time in nurturing other people that we do not take time to allow ourselves to be nurtured. Many of us have deprived ourselves of nurturing and support for so long that we have suppressed our own needs for other people to be there for us. We put a wall in place and we leave it there to block or stop ourselves from getting what we want and need from other people. We enter relationships where our needs are not met because the people we’re involved with are not available for us or we deflect the nurturing our partners may be attempting to provide us to guard ourselves from being vulnerable for fear of being hurt.
You do not need to be a victim or martyr to prove that you are capable of taking care of everyone else and strong enough to take care of yourself. Nurturing and care is circulatory. It is part of the giving and receiving process. Thus, the more you take care of other people, the more you long for someone to simply stop and do something for you in return. This is natural.
When you stop or block the circulation of nurturing and care from returning to you, you literally damn up the system so that you starve yourself of the very same care you are providing others. When you are not receiving, you cannot be filled with more to give out in any scenario including your own nurturing, loving and healing processes.
The desire to prove you are strong enough to provide love and nurturing for others and have no needs for yourself has no balance. It is grossly tilted in the favor of those that you are providing care too. Without allowing the natural cycle of nurturing to come back to you, you enter a codependent cycle of care-giving becoming the victim or the martyr that is starved of your own needs. By continuing in this pattern of codependency to prove you are strong enough to carry the load for all involved you are engaging in self-defeating behavior that ends in tremendous suffering as your needs to be nurtured are not met. This leads to a continued cycle of punishing others, or pushing them away because they continue to disappoint you by not giving you what you need.
Relationships are there to provide you with a strong foundation for your own healing as well. By being the only one doing all the work to provide for the other person’s needs you are in full denial of your own. You must be willing to let go of your fear of being hurt and broken and allow yourself the opportunity to receive what you need in the form of nurturing in your own L.I.F.E.
You are not here to be the soul provider of the healing embrace. You are here to also receive the same healing in return. It is OK to allow others to be there for you. You don’t have to carry all the weight and work to keep everyone else mentally, emotionally and spiritually strong without being in a position to receive the same as well.
If you stop doing everything for everyone else and allow Spirit to work things out, you will begin to experience a natural balance in the nurturing process where everything that you give is fully returned to you. It is OK to let people be there to love and nurture you. It is OK to allow yourself to be open to receive what you need.
Step out of your victim mentality and stop punishing others because you have elected to be there for them to the point of exhaustion by refusing to allow anyone to do anything for you. You are not here to take on the responsibility to fix everyone else.
The Universe sends everything back to you when you are a cheerful giver. You must receive more in order to have more to give. Everything you do should be coming back to you in full cycle because this is how the Law of Circulation works. What you give, you will receive abundantly over flowing. This includes the nurturing that you need from others as well.