Relationships move through cycles of growth as each person goes through their particular process. Both parties have different ideas of what the relationship should bring forth for them and what they expect from it. The lines of communication must be fully open in order to achieve the necessary understanding of what both people fully expect.
Placing yourself on hold and living a stagnant L.I.F.E. based on what one party wants and needs creates suffering and heartache because the vibrant energy of living is quenched as one person is on hold waiting for whatever they expect in or out of the relationship.
Putting your L.I.F.E. on hold to wait for a relationship means taking yourself out of the experience of living. The longsuffering process is harsh and creates tremendous pain.
We must be prepared and open to the awareness that the relationship may never bring forth that which we are waiting for. It may have evolved into a codependent interaction in which one party is doing everything to please the party that is not really interested in putting the right energy into the relationship, but gaining all they need and want in the process. The party on hold is then left on hold holding hope in their hands wishing for a change that may never come.
If the relationship is to move forward, it can only do so once both people are no longer in denial and the lines of communication are fully open. The party that has become codependent by placing their L.I.F.E. on hold to wait for the relationship to bring them what they desire must pick themselves up and figure out how to move forward.
Putting your own needs on hold and waiting for someone to fulfill you or make your L.I.F.E. better, or wake up and become the person you want them to be to you results in resentment, hostility, pain and dependency, creating an emotional mess. The desire to be loved can make you do many things including sabotaging your own L.I.F.E. for the sake of the experience you desire with a particular person. This is not healthy.
Moving forward, especially when you truly love someone can be very very hard. But in moving forward you reactivate your own L.I.F.E. and allow the others person to make their own decisions to have healthy relationship, with our without you, as both parties realize that the only thing needed to be happy is to be happy with self first.
Other people do not make us happy. Even if we are happy in the beginning when we first met them, the reality of the relationship begins to come into focus and the same fears of not being lovable will surface. The same ideas of waiting for someone to be there for you, to love you, or taking on all the responsibility for the relationship while turning your eyes away from the truth of what you see to force it to happen will continue to plague any relationship you develop until you begin to deal with your own issues, take yourself off hold and resume living your L.I.F.E.
By moving forward to have a L.I.F.E. and taking yourself off hold, you become healthy pursuing happiness and enjoying the return of your joy. If the person you have been on hold for is the right person for you, they will grow into the person that honors who you are. The relationship will develop in its natural course and neither party will be using the other party in any process because love will flourish as the relationship becomes bonding and fulfilling for both parties. You both will simply be engaged in the wholeness of the relationship.
Take yourself off hold and let the relationship simply BE what it is. If it is yours it will work out for you as you begin to pick back up and live your own L.I.F.E. If not you will continue to grow in a deeper love for yourself, attracting a new relationship that will be worthy of all you desire.