The fear of being alone drives so many people to be in relationships that they really are not happy in. Driven by the need to be loved and the fear of being alone, one can chase down the relationship and then settle in, trying to make it more than it really is by forcing an idea of love into the experience. Love does not exist in this situation, only fear lives here and the need to settle for something. The motivation for finding a healthy and mutually rewarding experience is not prevalent in this case and sadly the relationship will eventually shrivel up into the nothingness from which it was built upon, leaving more pain and the confirmation that one is destined to be alone.
Getting involved in a relationship to satisfy your fears never constitutes a healthy and mutually loving experience. One partner is left carrying the weight for two people, which eventually makes them very weary and resentful. Meanwhile, the fear of losing the relationship is putting more poison into the experience, driving and strengthen the wedge between the two, where love would actually be drawing the two together.
Relationships are not designed to be a rescue for your fears. They do provide a safe place when you can trust the other person and are confident that they understand you and there is a mutually beneficial bound to grow together in a particular direction. Fear continues to eat away all the good that was originally felt in the beginning of the relationship ending in a sordid drama for one person to figure how to get out, while the other one is attempting to maintain control.
You must heal your fears of being lonely, which come from feelings of being abandoned and unloved as a child. They come from feeling that people are not there for you or feeling you are not lovable. The intense need to be in a relationship so you won’t be alone is driven by these fears. However, the deeper desire for companionship is actually driven by your inner need to have a relationship with the Divine within, which in turn manifest in the perfect relationship with another. Once you have entered this experience you are then settled in the knowing that you can never ever be alone. You begin to become fully aware that loneliness can never be a part of your experience because you have discovered your true love in the first true relationship, which is the relationship with Spirit from within.
Discovering your true love comes from the practice of knowing self. It comes from the practice of self-love. Once you are totally immersed in self-love you are fully confident and OK with being alone. You will never again feel lonely. You become aware that you draw others to you through you simply by the vibration of the love energy you have invested in the relationship that you have with the Divine within., which is the loving relationship you are now building with self.
When you are invested in the number one relationship, which is the relationship with the Divine within, you are loving God at the highest level and in turn this love manifest into more love in your experience. You will note that you are not alone and that there are many people in your L.I.F.E. You will then begin generating a positive vibration to attract the perfect and divine right person to you.
By exercising self-love you kill the fear of being alone and loneliness is no longer a concept that you intently focus on. You are now free to create new visions and dream of new experiences, in which the Universe will bring about a full manifestation of the right person for you to enjoy them with.
As long as you are fearfully chasing a mate or attempting to force or control a relationship you will find yourself investing more time in having to manage the relationship with a strong and closed fist. You will find that the tighter you close the fist and the harder you pull on the reins, that the person you have roped in and determined to be the one, is bucking like a wild horse to get away, and eventually they will. Why? Because your deepest most dominant thought is that you are going to be alone and lonely. Because it is always done unto you as you believe, the Universe must make you 100% correct in your belief. Thus, all that is necessary to drive the person you are chasing or controlling away will manifest and eventually you will be alone and lonely again.
By exercising self-mastery you can rip-out negative thoughts, feelings and beliefs from your consciousness. As you replace these thoughts with self-love and the knowing that the Divine is always perfecting every single thing for your highest and greatest good, including the perfect mate in your experience, you will loosen the reins and stop chasing down a person to control them into being with you and allow love to flourish naturally in your experience through the person that truly wants to be with you as they manifest naturally in your experience.
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