The Alien in the Family - Dr. Diva Verdun

The Alien in the Family

Feeling isolated and rejected in your own family unit is an experience that hurts very deeply.  The one place everyone wants to feel accepted and loved is within their own family.  Sadly, for many, being in with the family seems to be unattainable.  For whatever reason we have been alienated and rejected from our own families it still hurts on a very deep level, which unknowingly affects all our relationships as we continue to erect barriers to protect our wounded hearts from future rejection.

Being an Alien in your own family unit causes severe trauma on a deeply intimate level.  Even if you are handling the pain of the rejection or isolation from the family unit, the pain can be deeply buried but still dictate your behavior in other relationships because of feelings of abandonment and thoughts of being unlovable and unacceptable.  To work through this deeply personal pain is very difficult.  It is a sore spot that is hard to accept because no one wants to be an Alien in their own family.

Everyone wants to feel loved from the core unit that they came from.  Sadly, many learn codependent behaviors that seem to work temporarily to gain the sought after approval and love. They are willing to take the risk to sacrifice themselves for the sake of gaining approval and love from the family unit. The need to be loved has become so deeply embedded that love itself has become their drug. It is this yearning to be loved at the basic family level that creates toxic behavior patterns that result in troubled relationships in ones adult L.I.F.E.

The Alien in the Family - Dr. Diva VerdunHaving feelings that family members simply don’t understand you or not like the why you think or even disagree with the decisions you make or the thoughts you think can choke your individuality and creativity. Everything you think, say or do may be so foreign to them that it all comes with some form of judgment. The good news is there is nothing wrong with you except for the fact that you are allowing these feelings to weigh you down and keep you from living a L.I.F.E. filled with the POWER of Independent Thinking.

We are born into a particular family unit for whatever lesson our soul is here to discover.  Many of these family units are dysfunctional and have many issues, which you yourself see and feel, but have no power to fix because you are considered the black sheep, the strange one, the one that never agrees or never sees things their way.

The key to moving forward from these hurtful thoughts is acceptance. Once you begin to move into acceptance you begin to see the wonderful aspects about yourself and become comfortable being the Alien in your own family.

The family structure is designed to bring us through one stage of our experience.  Once we are grown and can begin to develop our own opinions, thoughts and lives, we begin to stretch into our own thinking and begin to design a L.I.F.E. that looks like what we see, which for the most part will take us through our own trials and tribulations as we begin to grow through our own lessons.  Many family members will continue to judge you based on the decisions that you make that don’t agree with the nucleus of the family.  The truth is you are not here to stay bound by the mandates of the family for your own L.I.F.E.  You are here to live your L.I.F.E. through your own free will and to explore and discover for yourself what living is all about.

Because you don’t take the advice of the family and choose to set out on your own to discover what L.I.F.E. is all about, you may have isolated yourself from the family and feel unloved.  However, you are not isolated, you are being incubated to grow into a wonderful and POWERful person.  You are in a place where you have to move past the hurtful thoughts of being abandoned and realize that Spirit will never abandon you.  Spirit will never reject you.  Spirit is your family.  Spirit is all you need and will restore you and fulfill you.  Your job is to let go of your hurts and pains and feelings of not being loved and begin to love yourself more than ever before.

The Alien in the Family - Dr. Diva VerdunMany never gain enough mental control to grow in their own experience.  They suffer through each and every special occasion and holiday feeling judged and alienated by the family even when they are in the same room.  Let family members think what they think.  They are on their own path and you are on yours.  Your path has simply taken a different direction and you chose to walk it your own way.  Know that you are not alone on your path.  Spirit is there walking with you as you continue to explore and discover more about L.I.F.E.

The reason your family sees you as foreign and alien is because you have elected to exercise the option to think free and do things in your own way.  Allow them to have their feelings and thoughts and begin to deal with your abandonment issues, and feelings of not being loved by loving yourself and releasing your family in love.

You will more than likely always be an Alien to your family, because you are a free-thinker and do not think along the same patterns that they do.  Do not attempt to change them to force or control their love for you.  Know that they love you in their own way, even if it is not what you would prefer to have from them.  The harsh and cold lessons learned from the feelings of abandonment and thoughts of not being loved actually strengthen you into a POWERful POWERful person that can walk your walk and talk your talk once you begin to release the pain and begin to delve into the lessons to be learned from your experience.

Being the Alien in your family is not really that bad. You get a lot of attention when you aren’t there.  They can’t stop talking about you.  So give them something wonderful to talk about.  Step it up and push out the pain you have suffered waiting for your family to show you the love you so desperately want from them.  They will not change for you, but you can change and begin by loving yourself for the unique and awesome individual you are.  Being an Alien can be a very POWERful Asset when you learn how to stand in your own truth and live in your GREATNESS.



Click here for a prayer treatment to live as the POWERful Asset that you are.

5 thoughts on “The Alien in the Family

  1. Dear Diva! Thank you – I agree with what you said, and am glad to see by your clear explanation that I am not alone in thinking this way. Yes, spirit is always with one – the choice is a good or bad spirit, in the sense of atmosphere and mentality. In Afrikaans the same word ‘spirit’ (“gees”) is used for a ‘divine person’, mood and mentality. Thank you for your positive healing contributions.

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