Drowning in Your Own Pain - Dr. Diva Verdun

Drowning in Your Own Pain

We cannot control, manipulate, or force love.  It is not a feeling to be pushed, pulled and molded.  We cannot use it to own or manipulate people or to magically create a perfect relationship.  While it is love that we seek, it is our own fear that contorts our actions into desperate moves to gain the love we feel we need to stop drowning in our own pain.

Attempting to control or force other people to love you generally leaves you sitting in a cease pool of pain and hurt generating deep misery and depression.  This is generally the result of a deeply rooted and intense fear of being alone that drives an insatiable need to find love.  This is happening at a subconscious level where you may not even be aware of your own motivations and actions to chase down certain relationships or stay in ones that don’t work.

Love is not driving you, it is your fear of not having love and your pain of being alone that is driving you.  Love knows no fear, and can not hurt.  It simply is LOVE. It is not a commodity that we barter or sell.  It is BEING!  There is no love to seek when we understand that LOVE ITself is embodied within.

Drowining in Your Own Pain - Dr. Diva VerdunThe simple thought of having to find love is erroneous and will generally result in more pain and suffering. No, we discover that we are LOVE in Manifest form and we allow ourselves to be ONE in the Universal ocean of LOVE as the one perfect person comes forth naturally to join us in loves embrace.

Many point the blame for not being loved on other people saying, “it is their fault things didn’t work out”, that their x-lover will never find anyone better”, “making claims that the other person never knew what they had”.  These are all statements made to cover the pain suffered from loss.  Whether you felt used, manipulated, taken advantage of, or mislead, remember the way you went into the relationship is the tell tell sign of what you will get out of it.  So if you are going in with desperation and needy feelings, the relationship cannot be built on a solid foundation.  Thus, you are investing in the relationship efforts in which you barter and trade the idea of love in exchange for the security of simply having a relationship.  As they say, “You get what you paid for”.

When you are drowning in your own pain the rescue is not another relationship with someone else.  The rescue is in the relationship you develop with self first.  You must determine to resolve your own suffering and feelings of being alone and abandoned.  You must work on resolving your own fears around relationships and getting hurt.  Simply being in a relationship expecting the other person to heal you will not bring about the result you so desperately are seeking.  The relationship will not and can not fix you. Only you can fix you, and to experience love at the deepest level, you must begin by knowing love and you can only do this by investing this love in yourself.

Self-love is not a narcissistic move.  It is taking the time to nurture yourself, to set boundaries and to discover your deeply rooted fears.  It is taking the child within by the hand and affirming that you are there to protect them from pain and suffering.  It is in releasing resentment and allowing forgiveness to set you free.  It is in taking the time to acknowledge that you are love in manifest form and that there is absolutely nothing to seek.

Once you begin to take the steps to heal yourself, you are opening the doors to allow love to circulate naturally in your experience.  You are free to be love and to be loved.  You will no longer feel so desperately motivated to buy, manipulate, or control other people to create a relationship.  The relationships will automatically evolve into exactly what they are supposed to be and you will be open to allow them to do so.

Thank you for the add Alicia! I look forward to networking with you. If you like to know more about me you can find it on my blog. http://drdivaphd.com/  Sending you love and Light!  Namaste!Wake up from the drowning pain that has pulled you under from your own fears of abandonment and victimization to find yourself swimming in love naturally as you return to the wholeness of LOVE ITSELF.

The more you work on yourself by releasing your pain and suffering to come into a place of peace and self-love, the more you find love attracted naturally in your experience.  Relationships just seem to work and a seamless process begins to evolve as you allow the other person to naturally be in your space as you are naturally in theirs.

As you heal your own pain, you grow in confidence of who you are and realize that the more you love yourself and see yourself as the perfect emanation of the Divine, the more you see the same in others. You grow in a glowing love within that heals your suffering through release, detachment and forgiveness and you are readily able to do the same to allow those you love the space to grow by not making more of something than it is. You are prepared to simply just let it be.

As you begin to move into your own healing, you will notice you are no longer drowning in your own pain, but swimming in love as you begin to manifest many wonderful loving relationships around you and the wonderful person of your dreams shows up to join you in the celebration of living.



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7 thoughts on “Drowning in Your Own Pain

  1. Thank you for sucj a lovely, well written article! I JUST went through this very issue as it was time for me to deal with a trauma that took place in my childhood. Thank you Kisha for your comment as that lead to further insight too! I’m breathing and ready to press forward.

    1. Kisha,

      Your prayers are already answered. GET UP and LIVE! Just by reaching out in such a public forum to share your pain you have acknowledged you are ready to grow and be free. Moving out of emotional pain is difficult because we allow the negative thoughts to continue to cycle in our minds. This is what creates suffering. Moving free means we must face the pain head on and go into it and totally feel it. We must allow it to touch us and sit with it and ask the why and what questions. “Why can’t I let this go?” and “What am I suppose to learn from this?” – we have been asking the wrong why question, which has no real answer. So don’t ask why did this happen to me, there is no real answer that will come from this question because it is asking for an answer in reflection that still solves nothing moving forward. Ask Why can’t you let go of the pain? This answer will take you into deeper levels to find the deeply rooted issues to deal with. Once you begin to find them you will begin to have the answer to the other question, what you are suppose to learn.

      The pain you have experienced is directly equal to your growth. The more you learn from the pain you have the more you grow into your own POWER.

      I am sending you a wave of peace right now wrapped in the warmth of love and light. Breathe very deeply right now and hold for 3 counts and release it with a sigh(sound), then breathe in again and receive the blessing I am sending you. Stop now and breathe deeply, right now and receive the blessing I send you. Yes! receive it! Yes!

      Allow yourself to cry when you feel like it and also be angry if necessary, this is all part of the process of moving through our pain. This brings you into acceptance and once you have acceptance you begin to detach and move directly into your healing.

      Love and Light precious ONE! Your healing is now in process.





      I am reposting some of this in part on my facebook wall where many come daily for healing as well. Your vulnerability in a public forum has worked a miracle in the healing of many other people. You see how it all works together for the good. Move into your healing precious ONE. IT is your time.

      Love and Light!


      1. Thank you Dr Diva i really needed that and just know that i’m doing everything you said and i’m really trying i don’t want to be angry or hurt i just want to live and be loved thank you for listening
        . Amen

      2. Do not beat yourself up in this process. Acceptance is the key. If you feel bad about something, accept that and tell yourself “I know, but I’m ok now, I learned from it”, this is how we practice self-love not abuse ourselves because we made a mistake. Another key that will help you is to know that the word sin merely means to make a mistake. It is Aramaic, the language of Jesus, and was an archery term that means missed the mark. Being born into sin merely means to be born to make mistakes. We learn from the mistakes we make. It is how we calculate the process to learn. We know that what we did does not work, we forgive and press on and try again. Pain simply tells us we are going the wrong directions or something is wrong period. When we harbor and nurture the pain we begin to suffer for holding the pain. Pain is not to be held, it is an indicator. Remember, when you cut your finger you pull away and address the wound. It still hurts a bit, but the pain subsides as the healing takes place, but you are more cautious the next time because you learned from the pain. If the pain was not there you would not have known it was a mistake to do what you did that resulted in the cut, which damages the body. the pain alerts you that you are causing damage. Emotional pain is exactly the same thing. GET UP my precious ONE! Time to LIVE… Address the wound and let the pain subside and find the lesson. Time to be FREE! It is a process and you will have some good and bad days before you fully recover, but remember the cut on the finger doesn’t bother you until you press on it either. Once it is finished healing you never really think about it again until the situation that resulted in the cut happens that allows you to have caution. Use your pain to learn and you will be free from suffering. I love you!


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