We cannot control, manipulate, or force love. It is not a feeling to be pushed, pulled and molded. We cannot use it to own or manipulate people or to magically create a perfect relationship. While it is love that we seek, it is our own fear that contorts our actions into desperate moves to gain the love we feel we need to stop drowning in our own pain.
Attempting to control or force other people to love you generally leaves you sitting in a cease pool of pain and hurt generating deep misery and depression. This is generally the result of a deeply rooted and intense fear of being alone that drives an insatiable need to find love. This is happening at a subconscious level where you may not even be aware of your own motivations and actions to chase down certain relationships or stay in ones that don’t work.
Love is not driving you, it is your fear of not having love and your pain of being alone that is driving you. Love knows no fear, and can not hurt. It simply is LOVE. It is not a commodity that we barter or sell. It is BEING! There is no love to seek when we understand that LOVE ITself is embodied within.
The simple thought of having to find love is erroneous and will generally result in more pain and suffering. No, we discover that we are LOVE in Manifest form and we allow ourselves to be ONE in the Universal ocean of LOVE as the one perfect person comes forth naturally to join us in loves embrace.
Many point the blame for not being loved on other people saying, “it is their fault things didn’t work out”, that their x-lover will never find anyone better”, “making claims that the other person never knew what they had”. These are all statements made to cover the pain suffered from loss. Whether you felt used, manipulated, taken advantage of, or mislead, remember the way you went into the relationship is the tell tell sign of what you will get out of it. So if you are going in with desperation and needy feelings, the relationship cannot be built on a solid foundation. Thus, you are investing in the relationship efforts in which you barter and trade the idea of love in exchange for the security of simply having a relationship. As they say, “You get what you paid for”.
When you are drowning in your own pain the rescue is not another relationship with someone else. The rescue is in the relationship you develop with self first. You must determine to resolve your own suffering and feelings of being alone and abandoned. You must work on resolving your own fears around relationships and getting hurt. Simply being in a relationship expecting the other person to heal you will not bring about the result you so desperately are seeking. The relationship will not and can not fix you. Only you can fix you, and to experience love at the deepest level, you must begin by knowing love and you can only do this by investing this love in yourself.
Self-love is not a narcissistic move. It is taking the time to nurture yourself, to set boundaries and to discover your deeply rooted fears. It is taking the child within by the hand and affirming that you are there to protect them from pain and suffering. It is in releasing resentment and allowing forgiveness to set you free. It is in taking the time to acknowledge that you are love in manifest form and that there is absolutely nothing to seek.
Once you begin to take the steps to heal yourself, you are opening the doors to allow love to circulate naturally in your experience. You are free to be love and to be loved. You will no longer feel so desperately motivated to buy, manipulate, or control other people to create a relationship. The relationships will automatically evolve into exactly what they are supposed to be and you will be open to allow them to do so.
Wake up from the drowning pain that has pulled you under from your own fears of abandonment and victimization to find yourself swimming in love naturally as you return to the wholeness of LOVE ITSELF.
The more you work on yourself by releasing your pain and suffering to come into a place of peace and self-love, the more you find love attracted naturally in your experience. Relationships just seem to work and a seamless process begins to evolve as you allow the other person to naturally be in your space as you are naturally in theirs.
As you heal your own pain, you grow in confidence of who you are and realize that the more you love yourself and see yourself as the perfect emanation of the Divine, the more you see the same in others. You grow in a glowing love within that heals your suffering through release, detachment and forgiveness and you are readily able to do the same to allow those you love the space to grow by not making more of something than it is. You are prepared to simply just let it be.
As you begin to move into your own healing, you will notice you are no longer drowning in your own pain, but swimming in love as you begin to manifest many wonderful loving relationships around you and the wonderful person of your dreams shows up to join you in the celebration of living.
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