Sometimes the people we love need space to process what they are going through. Taking it personal and becoming the victim in the middle of their process does nothing more than push them away from you. Self-preservation is instinctual and people will pull away from those they love when they need time to move through something that they are processing within. We have to allow them space to process their own dark times. No answers we can give them will move them any faster to their own resolutions. They have to process it and become one with their own answers, which they can only find within the depth of their own soul.
Understanding that your beloved may need space can put you in a supportive role if you have chosen not to be a victim in their process. You are distinctly aware that there is a deeper process they are experiencing, which may have called for shutting not only you out, but others as well. It is a process that allows both parties to come to terms with letting go and knowing Spirit is moving on behalf of all involved for the highest and greatest good.
Taking it personal that your beloved is going through some deeper process is a selfish act that sends the message that you are not really concerned about their process. This is because you are more concerned about what you feel than what they are going through. Your feelings of being unloved and not being the center of their attention, or fear they are leaving you, are your driving concern.
Truly wholesome relationships are open to allow each person their individuality. Complaining and worrying about why your beloved is not focusing all their attention on you means you are not fully stable in your own individuality. It means that during these times when your beloved is going through something, you need to use the space also to process your own pain and find the deeper issues that make you feel so insecure.
We cannot resolve the inner issues that our beloved is going through. We can support their growth and awareness and be there to assist them when they ask for assistance, or be open enough to allow them to speak to others they trust to find the answers they seek. It means not feeling left out of the loop because they may confide in someone else before confiding in you. It means you are OK with them finding balance in their process and knowing that all is working for the higher and greater good of all involved.
By taking it personal that your beloved is going through something you are actually demonstrating your own lack of self-love. You are demonstrating your own lack of self-confidence and that you may have need to do some internal processing of your own. Relationships are a mirror reflection of who we are and in many cases when one person is beginning a deeper reflective process, which may start off in depression and pulling away, the other person will experience a shift from which the growth is beginning for both people as well. This shift is a signal that you both are moving into a higher level of awareness and that the necessary time and space must be allotted for both people to grow.
Yes it feels uncomfortable when the person you love is all of a sudden emotionally unavailable to you, but remember in allowing them the space to grow, you are opening the path for love to be fully bridged in trust, compassion and understanding that will create a deeper bond once you both complete your process.
As you begin to relax and allow Spirit to open the paths for you to find light in your own fear from the experience you feel of your beloved pulling away, you are embarking upon another level of awareness and realization for your own growth.