Looking at the way our relationships are structured we learn to use them as mirror reflections to find the things within ourselves that we need to focus our attention on. As long as we are looking at the person that holds our affections with a critical eye, we are not focused on the reality that the reflection we see in the mirror is actually pointing at the issues we need to address within.
No matter how much we try to change someone else we cannot. People only change when they find a reason to make improvements within and not before. By chastising and criticizing your beloved, you are actually driving a wedge into the relationship bond. You are breaking down the bridge from which love freely flows. Where you see they need to make self-improvement is also a marker that is pointing directly back to you, so that you can find the very same similarities within yourself.
Relationships are a slippery slope. You can get so caught up in attempting to improve someone else’s behavior and character, that you are not even aware of your own. A relationship can only level off to the height of your awareness of self. Thus, if you are not aware of the internal struggles you are experiencing, you will continue to attract others into your experience that bring trials and challenges that are designed to point you in the direction of your own healing.
The miraculous thing about bonding relationships is the growth that both parties receive in the experience. When both people are working to improve themselves, the need to criticize and chastise each other falls away and becomes true deep loving support of each others individual and spiritual growth.
To often we want to control and force the other person into their healing to satisfy our own needs and fears. The amazing thing about relationships is that the other person is limited in their growth and healing unless we are growing and healing as well. Thus, no amount of force, pressure or control can move them one step forward in their own growth and healing.
If there is no growth and healing on an individual level, your relationship will become stagnant and dry-up resulting in either a break-up, because one person is growing and the other is not, or level off into a complacent and withered experience void of love and passion as the you both continue to simply co-exist in your pain.
What you desire in a relationship is yours to have. The person you attract to you is always right in the moment that they come into your experience. They mirror exactly all you are at that particular moment, both the good and the bad. Sadly, most people are not adept in many cases to be aware of this truth and don’t realize that the relationship is also mirroring your bad qualities as well, when you see them in your beloved.
Seeing yourself in the mirror of your relationship can be a beautiful experience when you see love, compassion, passion, trust, and all the other wonderful things that come with the union you are enjoying. Sadly, you do not readily welcome seeing the bad. However, when you begin to exercise self-mastery, you become aware that all things that happen for your bad, both big and small, in relationships and otherwise, are all designed for your good. You become fully aware that your good manifest through you and you become disciplined to use every opportunity to work on your own issues, knowing that as you do everything else will level-off to your new state of awareness, including seeing growth and changes in your beloved and the relationship.
Relationships are not simply about love and passion and all the wonderful things that come with them. They are key elements in your own growth in the equation of higher levels of awareness and spirituality. When you begin to exercise self-mastery to go deeper to carve out your own negative thinking and deal with your own pain, your behavior and character patterns change, which directly improve your relationship by either ending one that does not serve you, improving the one you have, as both people grow in Divine Love as Spirit makes the adjustments, or you begin to attract new people into your experience with fresh new mirrors.