In dealing with people there will always be challenging incidents in getting your point across. In many instances this turns into a battle of who can convince the other person that their viewpoint is correct, which in turn becomes a perceived attack that can erupt into strong emotional outburst. In essence the truth of the matter is that both viewpoints are correct based on each person’s perspectives.
Avoiding conflict starts with allowing the other person to be right in their own perspectives even if you may not happen to agree with them. Your ego does not have to be in the middle and feel challenged because someone does not agree with what you believe. Remember, it is what you believe. By allowing others to be entitled to what they believe you avoid the sync hole that results in arguments, anger and resentment.
Each person is engrossed in their own self-serving bias, which means they see and acknowledge their own successes while attributing their failures to situations and circumstances outside of themselves. No one really stops to see their own behavior, beliefs, feelings and thoughts and how they actually may be skewed negatively.
People are deeply attached to their own beliefs, which confirms for them a foundation from which they live their own lives. In many instances these beliefs can be based on erroneous information, but once they are confirmed as true to the believer they can become barriers to the growth and change instituted by learning new information. Thus, when these beliefs and viewpoints are challenged the disagreement can generate conflict and rebellion.
We are all traveling in the same circle of L.I.F.E.™, which is an infinite loop of thoughts and understanding. It is not linear. We do not move further ahead of anyone, we may simply be at a different point in the rotation. As we continue to increase in velocity, we find ourselves moving faster around the circle. We see ourselves moving through various lessons that bring forth new awareness as we continue to grow. When we have disagreements with others neither party is at the same point in the circle or one may be moving at a slower momentum. Thus, thought patterns will not connect until both people are at the same point in the circle. By choosing to agree to disagree you realize that neither of you are at the same point in the circle of understanding.
Conflict happens when challenging another person’s belief systems, thoughts and feelings. Thinking takes consistent effort and work, which is why many people will fight fiercely for what they believe because they do not want their foundation shaken.
Memory is easier than thinking. There is no effort in memory. It is an auto-pilot guide based on a set pattern that is already familiar. Thus, when opposition challenges this guidance system, the natural reflex is to fight or run based on the perceived threat to emotions and feelings. These emotional reflexes program the brain to default to a hostile process during disagreements because one feels attacked or fearful of the imposed threat to shift a crystallized thought or memory that has been guiding their L.I.F.E.™.
By choosing to allow others to be entitled to their viewpoints and opinions you actually find yourself in a peaceful state of Being as you remove your ego out of the equation. You in turn are now processing your own thoughts without an emotional attachment and allowing others to keep their own thoughts in tact that they feel serve them. You begin to realize that what you shared was truth, it simply is your truth and that it is OK that no one else agrees with it. As well, you may also come into another revelation of this same conversation at a latter time when you are ready to assimilate the information that was shared into your own thought processes. Thus, it is all good to simply disagree with the understanding of each other’s thoughts in mind.
Attempting to share something with another person that has not come into the same realization or awareness of something is like attempting to give a newborn baby the dictionary and telling them to read and memorize it. The baby has to grow in awareness to be prepared to gradually add new words to their vocabulary. Likewise, if you go to your medical doctor or lawyer and decide you will debate them about the law or about medicine without an education and knowledge of the terminology, you would simply be challenging their knowledge base on the terms of your own ignorance. These are the same premises for allowing others to have their own viewpoints. You may or may not be at the same point in your own awareness as they are.
Arguing over viewpoints is fruitless. When you get to a point where there is no connection in belief and thought, then resolve to remove your ego from the discussion and back down. It will not kill you to let it go. Actually, it works the opposite as you allow the other person the freedom of their own thoughts, while you are at peace in yours. Simultaneously, the relationship between the two of you becomes more harmonious because neither person feels judged for what they believe, think or feel.
To disagree is Divine. It is what makes you uniquely individually you. Your thoughts, beliefs and feelings matter, but so do the other person’s. The beauty of it all is that thoughts, beliefs and feelings always change as one continues to grow and accelerate their momentum in the circle of L.I.F.E.™.
Pull your ego back and allow others to think, feel and believe as they do. No one thinks exactly like you anyway, because only you can think like you think. They cannot think like you, because they can only think like they do. Let them have their space to grow. All comes full circle into the revelation and awareness of ONE ABSOLUTE and DIVINE and SUPREME THOUGHT as each person awakens to the light.
Photo credit for the baby on the cover – Image by Saltatempo http://www.flickr.com/photos/saltatempo/171558814/in/photostream/