9 Common Patterns of Self-Sabotage
December 14, 2009
9 Common Patterns of Self-Sabotage
Do you continue to do things that are no longer fun, ineffective or possibly dangerous? Do you put others’ needs before your own? Do you have negative thoughts and complaints?
If so, there are subtle patterns of sabotage, also known as The Nine Scoundrels, which negatively affect you and keep you from creating your ideal reality. What are these patterns?

1. Complacent Scoundrels stay in subpar situations, afraid that a new situation might be worse. This helps you stay committed to things, but it also keeps you stuck. Break out of it, by changing your perception, some aspect of the situation or move on.
2. Delayed Gratification Scoundrels look forward to future happiness. This impedes the fun in life, sometimes indefinitely. They look forward to five o’clock, Friday, losing five pounds or retirement. Instead, be happy with your life as it stands now.
3. Addicted to Misery Scoundrels see themselves as victims. They complain about bad weather, health problems, politics and the economy. Take action toward a positive change or stay silent. Break the blame and complain routine. Be responsible for your own happiness.
4. When life is good, Fear of Happiness Scoundrels await the certain tragedy that will arise at any moment. Release your fear. Find joy in daily activities. Nurture yourself with luxury in simple or extravagant ways. Splurge without guilt.
5. Martyr Scoundrels give up their free time, hobbies and special events to help others. Passive, they find it difficult to say no. Realize that the more you give yourself, the more you can give others. Shift your priorities and put yourself first.
6. Negative Thinking Scoundrels assume the worst and view life with skepticism. By avoiding negative chatter, this scoundrel disappears. Train the mind to obliterate negative statements and the words: I can’t. I don’t know. This is hard. Recognize your accomplishments. Stay positive.
7. Resentment, anger and shame fuel Stuck in the Past Scoundrels. These scoundrels are bound to past events. Cut these ties by healing and releasing the past. Do not take things personally. Move forward on a path focused in the present.
8. Moving from one task to the next without pause,Forward-Thinking Scoundrels live with urgency and impatience. Rid yourself of this scoundrel by slowing down and relaxing. Stop multi-tasking. Avoid racing through life, so goals can be accomplished with ease and efficiency.
9. Grass is Greener Scoundrels seek external happiness. Filled with envy, they look beyond their talents, possessions and status. Recognize the perfection in your life with gratitude. Release competition. Use jealousy as a tool for attaining what you really want.
Now that you are aware of these nine common patterns of sabotage, take necessary action to excel in all aspects of your life.
Reprint of original article by Deanna Reiter, MA
Business Tip – Use December as Your Secret Weapon
December 14, 2009
A lot of businesspeople treat December like the off-season. They’re tired — especially after a loooooooong and wearing year like 2009. They want to book as much business as they can before the year closes, sure, but in many cases they primarily want to stay warm, avoid trouble, and limp along toward a bit of time off with their families. Their motto could be, “We’ll hit it hard in the new year.”
Believe me when I tell you that I’m sympathetic to this view. I indulged myself in a real mental vacation around Thanksgiving. I had been traveling for work and juggling lots of tasks in the office (it’s not all ivory-tower thought leadership here at Hoover’s Galactic HQ) while keeping up with my family duties and a steady workout schedule. Spending a week out of the office, including a few days at my folks’ place, was a real breather for me.
But then reality set in: the work doesn’t stop. You know this, I know this, but it’s worth repeating — and in language that puts a fine point on it:
The needs of your customers and your business don’t stop.
Not for the holidays — not for anything.
If you ease up too much on your efforts in December, not only will you fail to serve your customers and your business, you’ll also lose precious momentum that you’ll need when 2010 rolls around.
And if all of that doesn’t give you motivation enough to keep grinding ahead, refer back to the sentence that started this post: “A lot of businesspeople treat December like the off-season.”
Some of those people may be your competitors. Just because they’re sleeping this month doesn’t mean you should. In fact, if they are sleeping, December is the perfect time to steal a march on them.
I’ll leave you with an analogy: the football great Jerry Rice was famous for his durability — he was catching touchdown passes when he was 40 — which arose from his intense off-season fitness regimen. That regimen started the very next day after his team finished its season. So if the 49ers won the Superbowl on Sunday . . . Rice was out on the training field, in the cold and wet of a San Francisco winter, by 7 a.m. on Monday.
That’s how Hall of Famers are built, in business as in anything else.
So, please, enjoy time with your family during the holiday season. Watch some TV, eat some good food, and vegetate enough to recharge your batteries. I know I will.
But use your secret weapon — your focus during December — as a way to elevate your game, for 2009, 2010, and beyond.
What do YOU do in December to build your business?
Reprint of article by Tim Walker – Hoovers.com
5 Behaviors of Manipulative People
December 14, 2009
5 Behaviors of Manipulative People

Many of us like to think the best of people. We like to think that they shoot straight and are forthright in their intentions. We also like to believe that they will ask for what they want and not resort to crazy tactics to get it. Unfortunately, however, there are times when we come across those who will do whatever it takes to get what they want…including manipulation. Being manipulated never feels good, but the worst part of manipulation is that often, we don’t even realize that it is happening. Here are a few ways to know if someone is trying to manipulate you:
- Buttering You Up: To get their way, manipulators will often make you feel good so that they can then ask you to do something that they want. The person may first compliment you or tell you what a wonderful job you did on something. Making you feel good will, in their mind, make it difficult for you to say no…after all, you wouldn’t want to disappoint them or give them reason to think you didn’t deserve the compliment in the first place. What you can do: Return the compliments and the niceties before saying no.
- Guilt: This doesn’t only pertain to Catholics and Jewish Mothers; guilt trips have been a successful manipulation tactic for centuries. The saddest part of this strategy is that the victims of this tactic succumb to the manipulators’ demands because they feel they HAVE to, not because they WANT to. In personal relationships, this sets up a co-dependency that is extremely unhealthy. What you can do: Ask the individual if they want you to do something because you have to or because you want to. If they say they want you to want to do it, tell them that you don’t and that they are trying to force you into something you don’t feel comfortable with.
- Broken Record: Probably the most obvious of formats is the broken record tactic. If a person asks you enough or pushes their agenda enough…constantly repeating the question or request over and over again…in slightly different ways, the victim will inevitably give in and give them what they want. Oye! What you can do: Ask the individual what they don’t understand about the word “no.” Tell them that asking you over and over again isn’t going to change anything and that they are inappropriately over-stepping boundaries.
- Selective Memory: This one gets me the most. You swear you have a conversation about a plan and everyone is on the same page, and then one day, the manipulator pretends to remember the conversation completely differently, if at all. What you can do: Record your conversations…seriously! Okay, maybe not. At least have a witness that you can count on to back you up if the person pulls this shenanigan. Call them out on the fact that they conveniently change the game to fit their needs.
- Bullying: If a person doesn’t get their way, they make you out to look or feel like the bad guy…like you are the wrong one. What you can do: Be firm and tell them that their bullying tactics are inappropriate and unacceptable.
Keep your eyes open for these behaviors and continue to stand your ground to ensure that you aren’t a victim of manipulation. Have you seen any other types of manipulative behavior?
Reprint of article by Brett Blumenthal – Sheer Balance, on Wed Dec 2, 2009 9:40am PST
Perfume From The Essence Of Your Being
August 11, 2009

For centuries perfumers strive to create fragrances that extract the essence of everything from flowers to leather to formulate a perfume that moves the very souls of both the individual wearing it and weave a tapestry of memories for the one smelling it.
They say a fragrance can only be as powerful as the essence of the source the fragrant oil was extracted from. However, My DNA Fragrance has formulated a perfumery process that adds the one missing element to your fragrance, You.
My DNA brings to life a new fragrance concept that captures your very essence in the bottle, giving you the opportunity to wear a perfume that is solely and uniquely you.
Your essence is the basic, real and invariable nature of who you are. It’s the significant individual feature that makes you you and your DNA is the building block of that essence. The very fabric upon which you were created totally and uniquely individual.
Exercising Your Independence to Live Free in your Career Path
Here in American we are celebrating Independence Day. America’s birthday they say. America exercised its Independence and created what we now refer to as the “greatest country on earth” because we have so much freedom and opportunity.
This Independence Day there is much to reflect on with all those that have died in the last few days. From those in Iran during the elections, to some beloved celebrities
including Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Ed McMahon, Billy Mays and Steve McNair. Someone said it’s not a good time to be a celebrity. Truth is, many people have moved on to the next experience. These people are merely getting the media attention because they are public figures. Still the lessons here is very empowering. What does Independence Day have to do with these people? Everything!
Each of these celebrities moved mountains in their careers. They changed the world. They were all huge in their own celebrity status, maybe not as iconic as Michael Jackson, but they did all achieve a very high level of success in their own life journey. Each of them chose to go against the status quo to achieve their dreams and become the person we came to love and admire. They exercised their Independence by becoming independent thinkers. They disciplined themselves to listen to their soul and move on their dreams to fulfill their desires.
Independence is about being able to move out of dependence and into a state of self-mastery to achieve the highest levels and degrees of success possible for your life.
Your dream may not be to be a global icon like Michael Jackson or a football great like Steve McNair or even the pin-up model that Farrah Fawcett was. Your dream may be simply to achieve a higher standard of living in your chosen career field and you can.
money how you wanted, living your life the way you wanted, eating the foods you love, listening to the music you loved and reading the books you loved, and even relaxing the way you always loved too. Then it all changed. You found a special someone that you felt would add to your life. Someone that would love to do all the things that you do. Someone you thought thinks like you or sees things through your eyes. In the beginning it didn’t seem to matter that they didn’t do all the same things you loved to do. You just knew that the feelings for each other were stronger than all the other interest you had by yourself. Besides, you can come up with things you love to do together, right? Then it happened… reality set in and the problems began.




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